1/10/10


I want this plastered on my wall somewhere. Like an entire wall dedicated to this saying. It seems to be something I've learned and I have a strong testimony of it. I am so happy today. I am glad it's Sunday. Sometimes I find myself on the weekends surrounded by people that have such a different way of living. I don't participate in the activities that they do, but just being amongst it makes me feel dirty. I am always eager for Sunday. I sit in my seat and immediately feel the warmth that comes when you are exactly where you need to be.

I have had a few negative experiences lately that have tainted some of my dreams. Although I really enjoy doing photo shoots I am learning some of the sour side effects so to speak. I do feel that modeling can be an creative outlet for me. But I only seem to enjoy it when I am in complete control. The aspect of modeling that I enjoy doesn't necessarily require me to model. I enjoy controlling hair, and makeup, and wardrobe, and location. I like coming up with fun poses. I am 5'3" and not necessarily the skinniest girl in the world. Especially not skinny enough for the modeling world. The agencies that I've spoken to have loved my photos but have been turned off by my height. It just makes me less versitile. I don't enjoy the rejection considering it is something I cannot control. I lost 15 pounds or so when I had the swine flu. I did some of my photo shoots at 90 pounds and then when I got back to my normal healthy weight I didn't feel as confident to take pictures. As sick and twisted as that must sound. I have had to deal with some creepy photographers and situations, and even one huge scam. I am just re-evaluating this whole thing. Thoughts?

I realized something recently! I had an epiphany. I, for the first time in my life, am completely content being single and alone. I do go on dates here and there, and they are wonderful experiences. I learn a lot about myself and have fun through these experiences. But I realized I don't NEED anyone. Not that I am necessarily wanting to be single for an extended amount of time. I have just become independent and this is so liberating to me! I've realized dinner and a movie alone once in a while is okay. That a night in with a Turner Classic Movie and some popcorn is just as fun as going out with the girls! A lot of this new found independence comes from working 50 hours a week and not having time for anything, and being too tired to do anything. But nonetheless!

Happy Today, why?

Passion Pit
I accepted a challenge from the boys in my ward not to wear black to church today. I guess I had 4 sundays in a row. All black. Seriously Nadia? Green cardigan and floral skirt it is.
New bronzer from Forever21. three dollars! And as a make-up artist I actually approve this product!
Phoenix is coming, and I'm going.
My friend Nate is visiting me from Canada this month. Surprise!
I actually have fun evenings planned out for this week.
I almost won a game of scrabble this weekend.
I have enough oreos in my pantry to last me a month.
Life is beautiful.

5 comments:

angela hardison said...

you could always be a photo stylist! (that's the job i'd want if i wasn't a designer).

i love sundays too.

B & Shanni Boyd said...

I was a model from age 13-19. I now see how most girls in that world are lost and down on themselves because of what agents photographers or other models say. You are a beautiful person and it sounds like you'll do big and great things
best wishes. And always remember to be true to yourself.

Lindsey said...

It takes courage and conviction to find beauty in the simple things. You are beautiful and don't need anyone or anything to prove that. Love you:)

PhotosbyMillie said...

Unique Modeling accepts girls of all ages.
But I agree with Angela, a stylist or a creative director would be another awesome aspect!

Joslyn Marie said...

you are perfect height and weight gfriend. . i feel the same way where i feel i don't need anyone.. its such a good feeling.:]