{Nadia Shea}

^spotted on Etsy

"with the loss of a dear one, he deepens the bonds of love, enriches memories, and kindles hope in a future reunion"

That is an exerpt from a conference talk that Braeden emailed me one time. I'm pretty sure the Apostle who wrote this was referring to the death of a loved one. But when I read this line I thought of my missionary to be.

Today my mom got out of jail. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I feel guilty that I am not happier. I am just consumed with the stress of questions like "where will she work" and "how can she possibly catch up on her bills"

I also feel guilty that she and I haven't spoken a word to her in months.

Today a dear friend told me something harsh, that perhaps I needed to hear. He told me that I only recieve one mother, and that God gave me her for a reason. Part of me wanted to respond with something like "yeah, but you don't know my mom..."

But he holds the priesthood and I trust his words. I need to be better. I am constantly humbled by my imperfections but I hold on to the one positive... I want to be better. Which is more than some can say I guess.

I apologize that my blog is often a journal containing things too personal for the public. But I like to type, and I like feedback. A personal journal is isolating to me. So here I am. Skip if you'd like.