Folks, I'm almost 4 months. Many of you have asked how my pregnancy is going. The first trimester was surely the most beautifully, challenging few months of my life! The day I took the pregnancy test I threw up 20 times. Who needed a test? (I took 5, but that's besides the point). I should have known I was pregnant the day I couldn't eat Spinato's pizza. If any of you know me, you know how much I love Spinato's pizza. But on this particular day, early in the first trimester, I couldn't even look at it. I also should have known I was pregnant those two days that I was nauseated by the smell of the air conditioner in my car. Prior to my pregnancy, the AC didn't really have "a smell." But on these two days I almost vomited on myself while driving to work. PREGNANT. I think morning sickness is a myth. It's every day/every night sickness. I was nauseated at any smell, good or bad. I was nauseated at food on television. Food on pinterest. I spent three months despising food! ME, despising food! It's possible you guys. The sensitivity to smell starts to feel like a super power. I could smell what the neighbors were cooking a few apartments over. I don't think that's normal! Ernest has been so loving and supportive. I look back and laugh at a recent argument we had. Early in the pregnancy I asked him kindly to stop wearing cologne because it made me nauseated. He agreed of course. But a couple of times he sprayed it on, simply out of habit. One particular night he showed up with cologne on and I FLIPPED. Being that I was overly sensitive (obvi), and nauseated from his cologne, I yelled "you just don't care about me do you!?" He put his head down in shame as he walked out the door, drove home and showered. He came back over in clean clothes, with no cologne. I felt absolutely horrible. We look back now and laugh at that fight. At least I do, sorry Ernest!
I expected the nausea and vomiting. What I didn't expect was the fatigue. I've never been more tired in my life. 11-12 hours of sleep per night wasn't desired, it was required. Naps too. Pregnancy is fascinating to me. Everything you know about you, your body, and how you are used to feeling starts to change. It's beautiful and weird and awkward.... I wouldn't trade it for the world. Towards the end of my first trimester I had three weeks of hell. Three weeks of migraines. Trying to follow all the pregnancy rules, I avoided caffeine and any medicine other than tylenol. I tried consuming tons of water, taking bubble baths, quitting sugar (ha! didn't last long), etc etc. Nothing worked. I even started seeing a chiropractor three times a week. No relief.
Luckily now I am finally in the second trimester! There is light at the end of the tunnel. Migraines vanished, nausuea subsided, I felt human again. And here's the best part, I felt the baby move for the first time! I know they say 15 weeks is a little too soon but it was a feeling like no other. I was sitting with my sister at a Young Women's in Excellence night. I felt a flutter in my tummy. It lasted about 20 minutes. It felt like a butterfly flying around in there. She has had 3 babies so I quickly grabbed her hand and pressed it hard into my lower abdomen. I said "do you feel that?!" Skeptical, she responded "you're gassy." But that was my moment and I knew it. I have nothing but love for this baby bump. It was such a beautiful bonding moment for the two of us.
This past week I went to the OBGYN. He is a close family friend. He delivered my nephews, and my baby sister 20 years ago. He is such a caring and loving man. I waited patiently and quietly as he searched for the heart beat. It took a minute or two and tears of anticipation welled up in my eyes. Luckily, he found it eventually. I could hear her heartbeat swift and excited, along with mine... slow and steady. Two hearts beating together. There is no sound more beautiful in this world. I knew at that moment that she was okay, healthy and alive. I knew that I loved her and would do anything for her. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, all I can do is worry about this little one. Oh the worry. It's constant. Will she be healthy? Will she have everything she needs? Am I ready? Am I all she deserves? Can I teach her the Gospel? Will she love me? Experienced mom's tell me this worry never goes away.
I want to take a moment to thank all of you who responded to my last post. I was overwhelmed with the response. I feel your love and prayers. I appreciate your advice. I admire the courage of those of you who opened up to me about your own trials. Your faith is truly an inspiration to me. I am so blessed. Baby Coco sure is amazing.