Lately I have been pondering the phrase, "let go, let God." This phrase never had any effect on me until recently. I am 18 weeks pregnant and despite the prayers, and research, and support... I admit I still have a lot of confusion in my heart. I worry constantly about what is best for this little one. I think about this baby every minute. I don't know what the future holds for us. I don't know if I even have the resources to make it all work. All I know is I love this baby. And I love God. And I KNOW he loves me. In a world of so many unknowns, I have realized I simply need to let go. Let go of my incessant need to control everything, and to always have a perfectly designed plan. I just don't have that option anymore. I don't know where I'll be living when my lease ends in April. I don't know what will happen with my little one. I don't know the gender. I don't know my future. But Heavenly Father has always provided a way. As promised, he's always granted me the righteous desires of my heart. So this year, for 2013, I have one simple resolution...
PRAY.
At least twice a day. On my knees. I know I will be blessed. I know in God's time, I'll be provided with some much needed guidance. Of course I have other goals.... Fitness, to take the Sacrament, to visit the Temple again, to hold a calling, etc. But it all starts with prayer. Simple communication with my Father in Heaven.
If you have wondered what I've been up to lately....
Selfies to document my ever growing bump (and changing body, ew)
18 weeks!
Adventures with the handsome Mr. Saco
(we bring Coco along of course)
And finally ringing in the New Year with a kiss. I am scared, excited, and anxious for 2013. It will surely be an adventure to remember.
PS: Gender reveal to come on Monday! GUESSES???
11 comments:
Guess is girl. Again beautiful post.& yes some changes of being pregnant aren't pleasant. I still have to remind myself that my belly covered in stretch marks it's OK, that i carried a beautiful baby girl in my belly. Love you Nadia
Love you dear! Thank you for always being so unbelievably kind and supportive. I love talking to other moms.
b
So sweet:) You will live your life the best you can and God knows that:) I like reading your posts and cute pictures with Ernest<3
My guess is a beautiful little girl. I have the utmost admiration for you. You are an amazing person and will always be. Love you!
I am still guessing it's a girl!
Don't hate on your pregnant body. I know how hard it is to see the weight pile on and the stretch marks. Oh boy, do I get it. But you are doing a beautiful work, bringing one of God's spirit children into this world to experience mortality. It is a huge sacrifice we make as mothers. I still don't love my "mom body" but I am really trying to because it has done something amazing ... TWICE.
And besides, you are as cute and gorgeous as ever!
I admire your goals. Prayer is the key. You've got it figured out,
I'm reading a book you should pick up. Its called visions of glory among many other things it shows how our prayers are heard and answered on the otherside. Its an amazing book and has really inspired me to pray more and understand every trial is brought to us for a reason.
this is such a beautiful post. it's incredible how prayer works. how Heavenly Father is always listening to us. how He knows our hearts. letting go is one of the hardest things to do. putting all your trust in God is easier said than done. giving up control and not knowing is hard and frustrating but SUCH a faith builder.
this might come across as strange, especially since I don't know you, but, I'm proud of you. I am. your courage and faith are an inspiration. thank you for sharing your heart with us.
I heave a theory: the sicker you are, the girlier she'll be. ;) xox
Have you met with people at LDS family Services? They not only help those looking at the adoption side of things, but also with girls deciding to keep and raise their child. They also help the boyfriends of the girls too! It's pretty awesome! No trying to sway you in any direction, just helping you as YOU make your decisions! And they are super friendly! I have a name of a lady in my ward who works with the expecting mothers and she is so kind! If you would like her name just shoot me an email at bizybee08(at)yahoo(dot)com
Isn't it wonderful how God can cause beautiful flowers to grow even in the ashes left behind from our mistakes? No matter what you choose to do with your beautiful baby girl, I know this experience will only help to increase your beautiful testimony and your capacity for love. I wish you the happiest of thoughts and pray that you'll find the strength to hang in there when it gets tough. Thank you for sharing such uplifting words.
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