6/23/08

Dear Diary

I never post about anything serious. But I just wanted to vent some thoughts I guess. Please disregard if you just look at my blog to see clothes I want or pictures of my silly weekend.

What a reality check I've had. I moved out for the first time and started paying all of my own bills. It's so true what your parents say, "someday, you'll understand. Someday you'll pay your own bills and you'll appreciate what we've done for you." Oh how I appreciate them. My paycheck pours into student loans and groceries and gasoline.. You work work work work work just to live. What kind of life is this? People always say enjoy your youth.. enjoy being young. It's so true. You rush rush rush to graduate high school for what? School that you have to pay for and a full time job? No. Homework and friends and dances... that's life. This, whatever this state is that I'm in, it sucks.

Okay that's harsh..

I have such a blessed life. My family lives close. My parents are divorced but can still be friends. My older sister is a wonderful mom of two and has a great husband who we all adore. Such a great family.

And my Aaron... where do I begin. He is such a blessing in my life. Everyone knows how badly I want to get married and how impatient I've been. But I'd wait forever. He is the best person to ever come into my life. He is a spiritual genious. He'd be turning beat read if he read this... but he is. He's not only ridiculously smart in every way, but he's quite the scriptorian. My dad calls him the "walking quad." He treats me like a queen. I laid down to bed the other night and found two blessed white boxes full of Betsey Johnson jewelry. What more could a girl ask for? I can't count all the poems, the flowers, the sweet texts, the smiles that boy has given me... He is my best friend. I'm marrying my best friend! He knows me so well. My insecurities, my pain, my fears.. he see's through me like no one I've ever met. He puts up with my mood swings and asks for nothing in return, (except the occasional back scratch). I can't put into words how thankful I am for him and why. But if you look at me and my happiness you understand where it's coming from.

So I am at a crossroads in my life. I'm in limbo waiting to get married.. I'm finished with school. Aaron starts the nursing program hopefully next fall and will be doing lot's of pre-requisites until then. I live with 3 amazing girls who I am proud to call my best friends.

That is all.

5 comments:

Mama of spiritual spawn said...

Nadia,

You are amazing. You are smart, beautiful, spiritual, funnier than crap, and I am so impressed with you. I cannot believe that I actually had something to do with the amazing woman you have come to be. I loved your comments today, and don't forget your favorite "Kenzimundo". I love you Nadz, Love Mama

Beatrice said...

Nadia, I am so happy for you! Seriously, when i saw you that night at the reception, I have never seen you so happy. I am SO glad you've found Aaron! Don't worry about the finances - things get better, I promise. You're the best Nadia!

*Tawny* said...

I replied to you on my blog...
cute post cute post!! You are such a sweet girl!!!
I have to agree with you in the finances thats how i am and for some reason everything keeps getting more expensive.. why i am not really sure!!! but its really stresseful!!

SHEPPYLICIOUS said...

hey nads! its me stephanie steinepreis. you should know that for the past few years i have gained strength threw you. even though we do not see each other very often i have always been able to see a since of power with in you that helps you stand threw the hard times. when ever i do see you i always walk away thinking that i need to be stranger like you, that i can pull threw just as you did. you have had such a huge impact on the way i choose to deal with lifes challenges and i thank you for you great excample and your abilty to stand so strong

Stephanie said...

I agree living on your own is rough but you got to learn sometime. and cute post about aaron, he is a very nice boy and I am glad to see you 2 somehow get back together again. :)